September 14,
For the last week and a half I have been traveling around Lesotho, taking part in various Peace Corps run projects that, to an outsider, might make it appear that we are the evil corrupters of Lesotho. That’s right… Lifeskills. (cue dramatic music in minor key).
Tales of Masturbation, Rape, and (close your ears) Condoms after the break.
Tara (another PCV from my training group) invited me down to her site in Hlotse to teach her lifeskills class for a few days last week. It’s a pretty common occurance that male PCVs are asked to help out, as there are some topics that culturally do not work well in a mixed gender setting. For each of Tara’s classes, I took the Bo-Abuti aside to answer whatever questions they had, with a andate that I had to at some point cover consent and masturbation – two topics Tara felt the boys needed help with.
Masturbation is one of my favorite topics here. Yeah, go ahead, laugh if you want, but my personal theory is that if the men and boys of Lesotho would simply help themselves more often, it would go a long way to helping with the spread of HIV. Masturbating is a huge cultural taboo, with boy believing everything from ‘it makes you go blind’ to ‘you won’t be able to have babies later.’ In each of Tara’s classes, I spent a good half hour discrediting these myths and suggesting that, among other things, taking matters into your own hands was a good alternative to rape.
Which brings us to the other big topic of the classes- consent. The boys had some interesting ideads, which needed to be changed before one of them… well, yes. Among the situations I heard was ‘If she says yes, then no, it isn’t rape,’ ‘if I give her a drug and afterwards she doesn’t say no, it isn’t rape’ and, my favorite: ‘girls don’t enjoy sex anyway, so why is rape such a big deal?’ While to American years this all might sound a bit appaling, here these are all relatively common beliefs. You can only hope that a one hour Q&A session gets through a little bit.
Fast forward to last weekend. As most people reading this have heard, I’ve gotten involved in Peace Corps’ gender awareness programs. On Saturday I organized a gender workshop for about twenty boys and girls from two local high schools. I’ve been orgnizing this event for the last month and a hlaf, and was ready and excited to put it on.
The problems started midway through the first session. I had invited two of my coworkers to facilitate the event, thinking that if the kids could do the event in Sesotho, there was a better chance for them to take something valuable away from it. Unfortunately, I didn’t think to explaining to my coworkers that this was a Peace Corps event, and that Peace Corps and Catholic Relief Services have slightly different approachs to talking about Gender and Sexuality.
The first session of the day was designed to get the students thinking and talking about some of the issues involved in gender in Lesotho. Four signs were placed around the room, ranging from ’strongly agree’ to strongly disagree.’ The facilitators read statements, nd the students stand under the sign that best matches their response. The facilitators are to encourage discussion and, if neccesary, play devil’s advocate.
Everything went well for the first few statements with the students starting to really get into arguing their points and agreeing to disagree. Then came the statement ‘A woman who carries a condom in her purse is ‘easy.” After some confusion over the English idiom ‘easy’ the group split up, with about three quarters of the students disagreeing and a quarter agreeing. Not thinking muc of it, and finding the Sesotho hard to follow, I went back to looking over the pre-workshop questionarres I had the students fill out. Five minutes later I looked up to see all of the students under the ’strongly agree’ sign, with the facilitator telling them that abstinance was the only way, and the woman in the statement was wrong to carry a condom.
This, as I have two boxes of condoms in the other room to distribute after the workshop.
Another PCV and I jumped up to present the other side of the argument, but it was the source of ongoing confusion through the day. Towards the end of the workshop, going through the ABC method of HIV prevention, one of the facilitators told me that she felt C stood for ‘compassion.’
** A word of explanation: ABC was developed in Uganda, and has been credited with contributing to that country’s dramatic drop in HIV infections, from the mid 20s to about 5%. It stands for (in order of importance) Abstain, Be faithfull, Condomize (Correct, consistent condom use). Almost every secular NGO, including Peace Corps, uses it. Many religious groups such as CRS and Worldvision teach ‘Behavior Change’ or ‘AB’ **
The issue at the workshop then was not a new argument, but one that has been part of the HIV debate for the last 20 years. Personally, I have no problems with A & B – They are moral choices that, in a culture as religious as this one, can be very effective. This issue of condoms though seems to be not so much about morality as safety. Statistically, the average age of sexual debut in this country is fourteen, and the HIV rate between 18 and 40 years old is pushing 50%. Given these numbers, it seems clear that not everyone is abstaining. To not teach teenagers how to use a condom correctly seems negligent at best. I tell every kid I work with that I couldn’t be happier if they abstain until marriage, but if they don’t, they must, must, protect themselves.
Sorry for the preachy end to the post guys. This disagreement has always been in the background of my relationship with CRS, but I think it may come more to the fore now. If nothing else, I feel like making it more of a priority for what I am doing.
Fastinating, interesting and well written post, Oscar. Thanks!
Thanks for the update Oscar – loved reading it.
Go fight the good fight with CRS. It’s so very important!
Adrienne
Sounds like you have an “interesting” job. Good luck with it, and hopefully it ends up doing some good.
What important work you are doing! Thanks for keeping it real for the youth you are working with – no wonder they are so confused. Keep up the great work!
Love, Karlynn
HI Oscar, Thanks for writing about your job that you are doing now. I’m curious about circumcision, While we were in Kenya, we heard a speech made by a tribal chief of some Masai in which they still practice circumcision of boys as part of the ceremony to become a man. Then he stated that circumcision was also part of the ceremony for a girl to become a woman. Do you know if this practice is part of what is done in Lesotho? It is a hard battle to fight the Pope’s edicts. Love to you—- Grandma Sue