Ok, back to songs for post titles. Makes it more fun that way.
I spent Thursday in the hospital getting a bone marrow biopsy, and having a port installed in my chest. The biopsy wasn’t much fun, but was over fairly quickly. The results from it should give the doctors confirmation that there is no marrow involvement with my lymphoma (a very good thing), as well as give them as baseline for how my bone marrow is functioning, in case that becomes important down the line.
The port, let’s face it, is way cooler. Stage 1 of my cybernetic transformation has begun. A port is essentially a small, quarter sized valve that sits just below the skin. Attached to this is a tube leading up into a major vein in the neck. This allows doctors and nurses to take blood and give medication through the a needle to the port, rather than sticking my arms trying to find veins every time. Considering the vague junkie-like appearance of my inner arms these days, this is a capital letters Good Thing. It also will cut the time needed for Chemo infusions down considerably.
It’s also going to leave a cool scar. I took off the dressing for the first time tonight, and realized why it’s been so sore the last few days- there’s a lot of stitches there.
So, between the biopsy to remove the first lymph node and the port, I’m getting a good collection of scars from this whole process. I’d like to open the floor for suggestions of stories for how I got them. For now I’m going with “got into a fight with a honey badger… and won.”
Treatment should start this week. Keep your fingers crossed for me.
Scarring is an occupational hazard of being a Baltimore Orioles’ fan. You seem to be collecting about one scar for every 10 run loss this year.
Scar cover stories:
Breaking unicorns for the rodeo.
Pirate attack.
Barfight with Ray Lewis (with or against, up to you).
Transhumanism run amok!
Duel with the most interesting man in the world.
Held a board broken by Chuck Norris, did not anticipate force with which they would go flying.
If asked say:
“That’s where my extra_____ used to be. I would’ve kept it, but some found it unnerving.”
OR
“Ask Guy Boucher.”